Cumbria's Little Problem!
by Korharrian of the East
Summary: Cumbria was never the type to fight, Yeah, he had a great castle and all, but he wasn't cut out for actual battle!
1. Introduction!

-CHAPTER 1:INTRODUCTION-

As ever, England was thriving to read books again..

I am Frieth de' Coupe. Cumbria, as my friends and colleagues call me.

I am king of these lands, I don't really want to give away where I am exactly, because you'd want to steal everything I want, and if you are one of those guys.. Your obviously related to Germany! Germany and his gang is so mean and naughty to me! They chain me, and whip me, and hit me, and chain me!

I'm so scared just thinking about it!

* * *

Anyway, long story short, I am really weak! I probably couldn't last a chance against Russia, or any other big country..

* * *

(I dont really think america is all that great, actually.. But he hasn't been born, so im kinda breaking the fourth wall here, BUT WAAAAAAAIT! HOW DO I KNOW OF THE FOURTH WALL IF AMERICA DOESNT EXIST!? ..Shut up, other side of my head, come to think of it, Russia doesn't exist yet either. Just bands of Russian clones that look the same, but no one really cares about that.)

England is the only one that really treats me nicely, All the other countries and provinces don't really remember me all that much..

Anyways, so yeah. My capital is in the center of the country, and, my appearance?

A pale, 21 year old with a old ragged leather shirt, Ruined shorts, and a rusty helmet on my head! Oh, and a backpack full of apples,

Really, I tend to travel a lot. Neighbors like buying and selling stuff for my various minerals, but I know they are just using me. Someday, I plan on being great like my big brother!

* * *

Also, I really tend to think nobody cares about me! That is because no one does.

(Even though they kind of have to in order to sell and buy goods, but whatever.)

* * *

I'm really poor, as you can kind of already tell, I mostly waste my money on building up my army!

It really isin't that good, though.. That is, if you can even consider stacking leftover eaten apples with blue cheese as the head as troops..

* * *

I do have a few followers, but they are really lazy.

* * *

Thankfully that was all in the past. I still have the same clothing, though.. England was kind enough to give me enough stone to build a great castle! I did so, and with the wood he also sent, I built a village!

The workers aren't as lazy anymore, and they actually respect me now!

My castle resides inside a large valley,

(Well, you'd expect a valley to be nice and green, but the water doesnt flow much here, so its pretty barren.)

Anyways, Enough about me! Onto my story!


	2. Sightseeing about the castle!

-THE REAL CHAPTER1:Sightseeing!-

Cumbria was just minding his own business, eating some hard bread and cheese.

**You might say this is a poor man's feast, but no. He just really liked bread and cheese.**

**Why am I, the greatest narrator of all time, wasting your time? Find out, on this chapter!**

"Why isn't England out, rambling about how fun it is to read books, and yelling at the neighbors today?" Cumbria sighed, and wondered.

"Eh, no matter. Time to visit the flowers!" Cumbria said, cheerfully, getting up from the old chair.

-Anyways, Clipping onto the garden..-

"Ah, forgot to take care of the gong today.. The best a leader could do for a village, is work with their servants! Oi, where is ma' pitch fork?"

**This guy is kinda split-minded and looses track of things easily.**

"**HEY! IM NOT SP-Ooh, look at that beautiful bird!" Cumbria said in the fourth wall room.**

**Anyways, back to the fic!**

The castle, with three layers of walls, the third, with stone walls and huge, square roofed towers with crossbowmen on each corner and moats on all sides,

The second, with pitch filled pits and smelters,

And the first, with archers and pike-men defending left to right, rolling logs, and the only path leading in, with traps everywhere.

The keep's entrance was guarded by swords men, and at the last line of defence, a large oil pot was situated adjacent, also to the entrance. Sure, the surviving villagers would be killed, but any smart man would run for their lives at this point.

And if the enemies got through all that, then there would still be a escape for Cumbria.

A secret entrance from the top, leading all the way into a underground hideout.

Of course, the door was hidden so no-one could ever find it.

Only Cumbria and his loyal Viscount, Veth Jones knew about the hideout.

"Some mean jerk is crossing the ocean as I explain things, to attack me with a massive army! That cant be good!.." Cumbria said, shaking.

"I shall defend you with my life. My liege." Veth said, grabbing his sword tight.

He was not a man of war, more of a man of peace. Although he didn't a choice. The enemy was about 155 miles away, meaning they've been at it for quite some time.

Will Cumbria succeed in defending the village? Or will he die trying? Find out on the next chapter!

-Leave reviews!-


	3. Blank paper, Or rather siege!

-CHAPTER 2:BLANK PAPER-

NIGHT TIME. 11:17 PM.

England was in his mansion writing on a old fashioned piece of paper.

"Aaand...Done! The treaty is finished, and everything is set!" England said, with a sigh of relief.

"I'm hooome! Engly'!" Cumbria said, walking into the inn.

"Ugh, don't tell me you brought another squirrel home, I keep telling you not to bring wild animals in here!" England shouted.

"No.. Grave news, actually." Cumbria said, frowning.

"What bad news, then! Spit it out! Don't make me wait!" England said very impatiently.

"This guy says that the enemy is closing in on our beaches!" Cumbria said.

"WHAT!? This is NOT good! I don't have time to send the treaty! This is bad, this is WAY bad!" England said, furiously shaking his hand in fear.

"Ill get the archers to shoot at them and give us more time." Cumbria said, also scared.

"Right then, I will do my hand as well, and tell everyone to hide in their homes." England said.

"Pray for good luck, friend." England also said.

-At the frontier-

Archers were flying arrows as fast as they could. Enemy catapults were being made, while the allied swordsmen came along and fought them off for a period of time.

"Iiiincoming!" A archer's voice is heard.

Suddenly, a troupe of enemy mounted swordsmen went down the beach side. Slashing and killing all the defending archers and knights.

Tonight the true siege begins.

Tonight blood is shed.

Tonight is the day of the moon.

-At the village-

"Hurry up, lads!" The leading pike man said.

"Move ya' sons o' dogs!" a few mace men said, spitting on the peasant's faces.

The armed peasants waited, and waited..

A faint cackling of a wooden siege vehicle was heard.

(Kawoosh!)

Rocks were falling, Men and woman were praying, and children were crying..


	4. Why is he shouting?

-CHAPTER 3:WHY IS HE SHOUTING?-

**By the way, to all who are reading, the reason why all the chapters are short, is because im writing in open office, also, Cumbria chickened out on helping the archers at the last chapter.**

**ANYWAYS..**

-At the castle-

"Why cant we send the treaty now, big bro?" Cumbria said, quirky.

"Because they will kill us before we get there!" England said, impatiently as always.

"They are here, sire! They brought catapults and trebuchets! I have sent troops to go and attack the trebuchets, but the catapults are being handled by the spear-men." A guard said.

"Good."

-Outside the castle-

At that very moment, the trebuchet began to load.

**FIRE!**

The third layer of walls was being breached. The other troops couldn't really get in, so they filled the moats in. Once they got in, they were mostly shot down by archers and crossbowmen.

But soon after that, they were killed by dozens of enemy knights.

**FIRE!**

The third layer of walls was being completely obliterated. All the enemies were inside.

The trebuchets began to pack again, and moved towards the second layer.

"TO ARMS!" A knight said, defending the gate.

The knight, striking the pike-man in front of him, but missed.

The pike-man charged his spear like weapon into his chest, killing him, but the thing was, the gate wasn't open!

"Get the battering ram!" The pike-man shouted.

"Sir yes sir!" The crossbowman said.

Suddenly, a huge ram appeared with men inside, holding onto the grips that was the log.

"Heeve!" The first shouted.

"Ho!" The second shouted.

"Heeve!" The third shouted.

"Oh come on! Lets just get this over with!" The fourth said.


End file.
